To Have A Heart
by Cassaundra Gold
Summary: A forbidden romance that burns hot. The story of finding out about love, and who you are. "His entire soul seemed to say 'There you are. I finally found you. Why were you hiding from me'" An AkuRoku, rated M cause it might get a little crazy but who knows


**A/N: This is my first Yaoi (though technically there isn't really a lot of Yaoi in this chapter)… Seeing as AkuRoku is my new obsession (I got a poster at Fanime 3) I had to write something. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever (sadly) own Kingdom Hearts. They get all the rights. Yay them! And besides if I did own Kingdom Hearts there would be a lot more Yaoi in it xD**

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><p>"Don't Stop." I sighed in ecstasy. The man of my dreams chuckled a little, "I wouldn't even if you wanted me too." I moaned into his mouth as he kissed me again. His red hair tickled my face. I wanted all of him, I had never imagined that I feel this way. I had thought I would be alone forever. He was perfect. His bare chest pressed against mine. His black coat was discarded next to mine. He brought his hand and tangled it into my blonde hair. He pulled my head back and deepened our kiss. "Roxas…" I heard him whisper.<p>

"Roxas? Roxas? Hello?" Someone was calling me, waking me up from my dream. I opened my eyes and looked into the eyes of my long time girlfriend Namine. Now don't be confused, we are _not _dating, we pretended sometimes just to get people off my back, but we were like siblings. Sure we were bedmates, but Namine was gay, but her parents said that she had to be with a guy for them to pay her tuition, so we lived together, and in case her parents stopped by, we shared a bed. "Roxas!" Namine said with a giggle, "Are you having that dream again?" She asked me. I nodded and turned from her, embarrassed. Sheesh if she wasn't my best friend I would have killed her already. "I wonder who he is." She singsonged as she got dressed. I shrugged, "He's a part of the cult though… He has a coat." I said while looking at the closet where my black coat hung. The cult wasn't really a cult, it was more of a support group mixed with a gang. At the start of every meeting we said a codename… There were 13 of us. I didn't know any of their real names, or even their faces. We all had our hoods up. I always had that wet dream on the night before a Cult night.

Namine shook her head. "You really need to get laid, Roxas. And if you find this guy and he rejects you saying in your dreams, then hes right." Namine laughed. I looked at her, she was dressed for a date. Kairi was her girlfriend, a really spunky girl, who I liked a lot. I shook my head, "Say hi to Kairi for me." I called as I stood up to get dressed.

Namine giggled happily. "Say hi to the cult for me."

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><p>He was so soft. I craved his touch, he was all mine. "Don't stop." He sighs. I chuckle a little, this young thing couldn't stop me if he tried. "I wouldn't, even if you wanted me to." The boy moaned into my mouth as I kissed him. God he was so perfect. I let my hand tangle in his hair. Who would have thought that the cult would bring me here. "Axel…"<p>

Axel woke up irritated. This dream was getting really annoying. Not only was he dreaming about _a guy_ but it was a recurring dream, every Wednesday night he had that dream. At least it was Thursday… He had the cult tonight, so it was better..

Axel looked at the clock. It was only 11 AM. Oh well. At least he had time to shower and gel his amazing hair back. That would kill some time.

Axel was going to have to shake that dream off. He wasn't going to let it bug him. Suddenly he heard a ringtone go off. It wasn't his regular cell, it was the one he used for when the Cult wanted to reach him. He looked at the VII on his screen, what did Isa want? "Hey Lea here." He said without much feeling.

"Hey Lea. Ansem wants everyone to know that we are going to have a reveal tonight. It seems that Dyme and Rould don't like their code names so they want to reveal themselves to the group. So you get to call Alumari. Good Luck." With that Isa hung up.

A reveal? A reveal was a time when you could show your face and say your real name. Axel just shrugged and called number 11 on his speed dial.

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><p>Roxas was dressed in his black coat when his Cult cell went off. Roxas had thought that was so cool. The Cult actually bought Cellphones for the members, they even paid for the plans. It was to keep the anonymous aspect of it. Roxas didn't mind though, who would complain over a free phone?<p>

XII. Arlene… Roxas picked up. "Yes?" Arlene giggled a little, "Hey Sora! Ansem activated the phone tree thing. He wants everyone to know that Dyme and Rould are doing a reveal tonight. See ya later." Then she hung up. Arlene was unique alright. Roxas didn't really care about the reveal, it was their choice…

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><p>Roxas was nervous, everything was going to change tonight. He could feel it. The meeting started quickly, they gathered in a circle in order, everyone knew their spot. Roxas was near Ansem, since he was last, and Ansem was first. Ansem's voice rang loud and clear. "I decided that we shall have a general reveal today. Since I didn't think it would be far to just let Dyme and Rould change." And with that he removed his hood. His silver hair spilled out of the hood. "My name is Xemnas. Please to meet you." He smirked. He had an evil glint in his eye that I didn't care to think about. Braig was next. He pulled back his hood as well. "Xigbar." This pattern continued around the circle… Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix.. Then it got to number 8… Roxas' heart stopped when he saw that flame red hair fall out behind him. It was the man from his dream! "Axel" He said in that voice that was so sexy and familiar. It surrounded Roxas so that he was barely able to think about the next ones in line. Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Laxene. Then it was Roxas' turn. He stood in the circle, then only one still hooded…<p>

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><p>Axel was getting bored at this point. Nobody cared about who was who. Then the last kid came, he was holding up the line… Then it happened. The kid pulled back his hood and Axel's heart skipped a beat. It was the kid from the recurring dream. The kids blue eyes were trained to him. "Roxas." Was all the kid said and the two fell into a vision.<p>

…

The two of them were together again. In a way that only the two of them could be. Axel held Roxas in his arms and kissed him with the firey passion that burned inside him. It was as if Roxas was his life and he could never let him go. "Axel… We are perfect for each other." Roxas sighed.

…

Axel pulled himself away from the vision. He wasn't gay. This was absurd. The boys girly features were throwing him off, that was it. Dang he needed a girl…. For a moment he thought of approaching Larxene, but that was never going to happen. Before he knew if the kid, Roxas was in front of him, looking at him with those sparkling blue eyes… His entire soul seemed to say 'There you are. I finally found you. Why were you hiding from me?'

"You feel it too, don't you?" The boy asked. His voice sent shivers down Axel's body. He took a shaky breath and without his consent his lips crashed onto Roxas and picked up where the vision had left off.

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><p><strong>AN: I realized that I switched tenses in the middle, which annoys the heck out of me… but the first part makes more sense in First person where as the rest of it sounds better in third… Sorry for that. Also I would like to mention that, yes I did us their somebodies names as their alias'. Some of them are just the widely accepted ones seeing as we don't really know… Anyway reviews are nice! (: I hope you enjoyed! Another Chapter Soon… Maybe…**


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